HUMPLAY MMXV will take place this year on Friday, April 17th at 7 p.m., in Vollum Lecture Hall. The CSOs are deeply concerned that there is only one ass for every seat in Vollum, so line up early (beginning at 12 p.m.) outside of Vollum to ensure you get a seat! There will additionally be a substance-free performance on Thursday, April 16th at 7 p.m., also in Vollum Lecture Hall, for those who would like to avoid the rowdy crowd and/or actually understand what is happening. Humplay does reference what some may consider to be sensitive topics, and has the following content warnings: explicit language, blasphemy, drug use, alcohol use, nudity, bestiality, incest, explicit sexual content, intense violence, death, and suicide. Take care of yourselves and each other.
In what follows, Topher ‘ben lund’ Dorion, Cecelia ‘Ballz’ Erwin, August ‘Phallic Symbol’ Staubus, Lee ‘Cool Tapes’ Belcher, and Mikaela ‘$$$$$$ (it’s pronounced ca$h money)’ Lieb offer insight into Humplay MMXV in a short, very abrupt question and answer session.
Mikaela Lieb: What is different about this year’s Humplay than in years past?
ben lund: Literally nothing. Exactly the same. Verbatim. Copy paste. Life-size replica.
Mikaela Lieb: More nipples.
Lee Belcher: Some of them are pierced. ;^) ;^) ;^o
August Staubus: Due to budgets cuts, the entire play will be in CGI, rather than animatronics as in previous years.
ML: What are you particularly excited about in this year’s Humplay?
LB: I’m very excited about the highly-anticipated cameo by the dog from Full House, who agreed to perform under the sole condition that we replace all references to the Judeo-Christian God with the word “Dog.” He will, of course, be playing the role of Dionysus.
AS: We have a séance planned during the intermission during which we hope to contact Steve Jobs. He’s been pretty responsive so far. Let’s hope he doesn’t get stage fright.
ML: What was it like working with all the other direktors?
The direktors shuffle uncomfortably in response to this question. “Can we skip this one?” Lee asks.
ML: How hot is your Chorus this year?
ML: Everyone in Humplay has at some point or another actually cum in anticipation of seeing the Chorus on stage, including the Chorus themselves.
AS: After rehearsal, my erection lasts pretty much until rehearsal the next night. Which means yes, I have had an erection 24/7 the past three months.
ML: Favorite part of directing Humplay?
Cecelia Erwin: 
:B :b . . ; ’ ” ” b a l l z “ “ : . .
AS: Convincing the Quest board that it was cancelled. [editors’ note: fk u]
ML: What is the funniest part of Humplay this year?
CE: My GPA.
ML: So how gross is Humplay this year?
ML: Really gross
AS: Grosser than J-Krog’s b-hole.
ML: Is there anything particularly surprising about this year’s Humplay? Can you tell me what it is?
ben lund: Yes. It is J-Krog’s b-hole.
ML: Do you have anything else to add?
AS: [math]
CE: No August, go away.
LB: Can we start over?
We would also just like to stress that it is very important that you come to Humplay. Very, VERY important. Good luck.